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From Stagnant To Pregnant?
By The Love Doc | December 30, 2007
Hey Doc,
My partner and I are trying to conceive. We’ve tried the traditional way and that’s not working. We’re considering fertility treatments. An issue of big concern for us, is that sex is beginning to feel mechanical. You know, the correct time of month, time of day, temperature, etc. I’m just not sure how to make sex fun and still achieve our goal. Can you suggest something to make sex fun again?
Signed, Stuck in a Rugrat Rut
Hey Stuck in a Rugrat Rut,
First, I hope you are successful in your attempts to get pregnant, with whichever method you try. I’m sure you’ve spoken with “fertility specialists,” and you may have to do a bit of “shopping around” to make sure that the people you speak with have the most up-to-date and credible information.
As for keeping sex fun (and, I presume, relatively spontaneous) while trying to get pregnant, the first thing I would say is to look at my other responses here to inquiries about similar matters (here is an example). Basically, in addition to good communication, I keep stressing that introducing different elements into your sex life is the key to keeping it “fresh,†whether you’re trying to conceive a baby, trying to make it a birthday your partner will never forget, trying to reduce the temptation to seek someone else out to revive a diminishing libido, or whatever.
As I’ve said before, a visit to a reputable store with knowledgeable, helpful and respectful staff can introduce a variety of sex toys, massage oils and other lotions, books, dvds/videos, sensual games, and so on, to bring novelty and excitement into the relationship. Even those who’ve already extensively explored the world of erotica can usually continue to find new ways to experience, expand upon and enhance your sexuality by visiting such stores and various websites (and can you think of a more appropriate theme to google?? I mean really, that word must have been created with only one thing in mind…).
In your case, Stuck in a Rugrat Rut, you need to be mindful of the timing of when you have sex, so it’s going to reduce the spontaneity or “surprise” for you. However, there are a few things you and your partner can do to keep things interesting for the other person.
Your partner doesn’t need to know when you’re at peak ovulation, so you can still surprise him when you initiate the sex. For his part, when you do have sex, he can use new information and/or products like those mentioned above to make sure that sex is anything but routine. And of course, aside from the window of ovulatory opportunity, you two still have many days in the month to have sex whenever you want, without having to worry about birth control (as long as your partner doesn’t ejaculate for about two days before you think that window will open).
Best of luck with everything, Stuck in a Rugrat Rut. I really hope things work out on both the fun and fertility sides. Please feel free to update me on your progress.
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Topics: Sex Advice |